I have always contended that girls are the sturdier of the genders and wondered in secret if the One that Is might not best be identified with the creativity of the female heart.

I will protect you all the days of my life. You will be the mother of all who live and the giver of life to the seed spoken by the One – the seed that will strike the offspring of the serpent. The One has said it, Isha... today I name you Havah, because you will live, and all who live will come from you, and you will give birth to hope.

But these are no longer just samples of some disease. They were purchased with lives too save many more. Lives precious to me. Which might be the reason it feels so hard to let them go.

You are necessary to that end, and to me... you are all I have of the garden. You are the image of me and of the One. And if you have wronged, then I have surely repaid your wrong twice over.

In that instant I knew that as bad as it was, it was going to get much worse.

I wanted to be alone with the One. The One who scaled then careened from the heights of the Mount. The One who raised up the man from the mud. The One who fashioned me from a part of the man and knew me more intimately than even the adam.

I slept in the grip of that love, comforted, thinking I should forget my longing within it, knowing that all was somehow well... In the morning when I stirred, I knew... I knew I lay here in my own flesh, but not alone.

So like the womb. Like that moment before birth where there is no awareness of wrong or evil or pain or hope or anything but that still voice that whispers merely: I am.

In the beginning there was God... but for me there was Adam.

I had sought love. I had talked of love, not knowing that it is one step beyond wisdom into the face of God. And this was the only salvation.